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Comments from thatcuriousone
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-07-22 20:39:31 | The Runner_(0) | Hm. I found this slightly confusing to read at first. The lack of punctuation or grammar made it so. As well, the way the story was structured could have been changed to make it better flow rather than just hitting enter to get it to the next line. I did appreciate that you separated the areas when things changed. This was an interesting first person take on a affair. |
| 2011-07-22 20:54:37 | 6000 Mile Surprise | As the other reader suggested above, watch how you word things. The first paragraph is best example considering its worded quite awkwardly and until you get to the second paragraph do you realize that your taking on first person. I would also suggest to be more...graphic in your descriptions, instead of saying "white fluid" just use "semen". Don't just mention the girls having a clit or hole, but fully describe them for what they are. This was a good start. Good luck~ |
| 2011-07-22 21:36:02 | My Fantasy - Fucking Katie | Well, this story certainly had some juices flowing...both creatively and otherwise. But I did full enjoy the pace, the tone and the sex scenes in this story. I hope Katie inspires you to write another. |
| 2012-06-10 14:24:26 | GIRL WHO CAME BACK | Very well written interesting story. It wasn't overly long, but you spun an interesting tale. Hope to see more from you in the future. |