It's a night not to remember for Dean and not because he was pissed and incapable, in fact he was always more than capable....but why Sally, why did it have to be the 'woman of his dreams'?
A Night Not To Remember.....
1.
“If you ever tell anyone I'll fucking kill you!”
It didn't seem to matter that I had Gary up against the wall by the shirt he couldn't stop laughing, his broad shoulders were going up and down like he was going to have a seizure or something.
“OK, OK!” His laughing subsided into stifled guffaws as I loosened my grip
“I'm telling you..”
“Yeah, OK, OK. I wouldn't dare would I ? You're my best mate.”
I sat down again opposite him and buried my head in my hands.
“What I don't get is how? Or, or why, but how?”
“Well you'd had a few hadn't you?
“Yeah but how, it's not as if she...”
“What, she what?”
“Look, I know you didn't see her and God knows how unless you were more pissed than me but she was just...” My conversation was just tailing off into unfinished sentences at this point.
Gary looked on in wonder and expectation at what I was going to say, like he was listening to some great orator about to impart the wisdom of Plato, mind you he always was one for a story. I slumped back in the armchair as the telly flickered its nonsense in the corner.
How was I to know? I mean, it should have been obvious, shouldn't it?
2.
The George was a normal pub, our local since we were kids of 15, always trying to convince the barman we were older than we looked.
“It's just you mate, blokes look younger these days. Just look at coppers, just kids ain't they?”
Harry had run the place for forty years and when he died it never seemed the same. Thank God for that, it was a bloody depressing hole of a boozer and the day it reopened all the crumpet from miles around came every Friday and Saturday night. And there WE were, Gary and Dean; the Lone Ranger and Clint Eastwood or whoever we decided to be on the night. Bloody hell we screwed some birds we'd met at that place renamed The Oasis and it certainly was that. A pleasure palace full of sexy women, wall to wall fanny. Gary always went for the blondes but I wasn't fussy, any hole was a goal as far as I was concerned. If she looked like a good fuck all the better and if she had big tits I was immediately drawn. I'd always had this thing about birds with big knockers, the bigger the better and The Oasis wasn't short on that front. We'd ply the girls with drinks and then coax them back to our place where we'd fuck 'em and call them a cab afterwards. Gentlemen to the last! One time we somehow managed to swap birds in the middle of the night, God knows how but it made for an interesting comparison conversation over breakfast in the morning.
It was our usual routine, work all week, fuck all weekend and we were bloody good at it. But last Saturday I couldn't believe my luck and I shouldn't have either. We'd been chatting up these two girls from a hotel on the seafront a few miles away. They'd come over because they were bored with the local nightlife and had heard our place was pretty good. Good? It was fucking awesome! Ten different lagers on tap, brilliant bogs, the urinals were actually mannequins where you pissed between their legs. I mean, classy or what? The disco was fucking brilliant and there were seating booths where you could get a blow-job without anyone seeing. See what I mean? Awesome! But last Saturday it changed, last Saturday I saw HER. I dunno, it was sort of a double-take. I was coming out of the gents when I bumped head first into this, this, this GODDESS.
I wasn't looking where I was going admittedly, in fact I was adjusting my cock for maximum bulge effect which for me wasn't difficult and my face found itself shoved between what must have been the biggest tits I have ever, ever seen.
“Fuck me!” I said before I'd even looked up to see who was attached to these torpedoes that had attacked me.
“If you want” came the reply.
It sort of started at floor level, the slow but steady gaze that took in every single inch of the busty beauty before me. There was the gold high-heeled strappy shoes, the nylon covered legs that seemed to shimmer and sparkle in the flashing lights from across the crowded but suddenly seemingly empty room, the black and gold clingy dress that hugged those curvaceous hips, the enormous boobs that perched tantalisingly on the top of the strapless bra that seemed to defy gravity itself, but most of all the perfumed, beautifully made-up, coiffured and bouffanted vision that opened her deep cherry lips and said “I hope I didn't startle you?”
I'm not normally lost for words and I wasn't now, except all I could muster was “Sorry, I wasn't looking. Sorry.” Jesus, not much of a chat-up line was it?
“Never mind, next time handsome.” She breezed past me into the loo and was gone.
Suddenly the noise of the disco returned and I snapped out of what seemed like a trance.
What the fuck or who the fuck was that? My balls were suddenly on fire and my cock was straining like a rottweiler who'd just seen a burglar. Oh my fucking Christ, who was that? No way was I moving from this spot until she came out again. I found myself almost pacing, shuffling about until at last the door opened and she reappeared.
“You still here? I must have made an impression.”
I relaxed a little though still like a coiled spring in my trousers and took a chance.
“Ain't seen you here before and I would have noticed you. I'm Dean, and you are?”
“Well you're full of yourself aren't you?” she laughed, a sort of 'he's a tryer, I'll give him that' kind of laugh.
“Sally. Nice to bump into you Dean. It's my first time here so are you going to buy me a drink first?”
Her eyes didn't move at all, they were fixed on mine as she stepped forward and grabbed my cock through the obvious tent bulge in my trousers.
“Damn right” I said.
“I'll be over there, waiting.”
Her voice was like silk, like cream, like melted milk chocolate being poured into your ears.
“I'll have a large gin and lemon to get me relaxed” and she glided towards one of the private seating areas.
I fumbled for my wallet and suddenly realised I'd come in my pants and it was running down my leg. What the fuck? I paid for the drinks making sure of the extra gin in Sally's glass and nipped quickly to the bog to tidy up a bit. Thank God I'd worn dark trousers tonight.
3.
OK,OK, chill out. Back to the bar, grab the drinks and over to the booth where I saw her. She was illuminated in a pin-spot of white light from a small table lamp opposite which made her hair flicker and dance as if it was on fire. Her eyes were like emeralds, green and sparkling jewels set in her marble-like features. As I put the glasses on the table she crossed her legs towards me which made her body swivel, her huge breasts jiggled with the motion and she could see I was transfixed by their sheer size.
“On the pull tonight are you then?”
“Always, you free?”
Not much of a conversation but we both seemed to now where it was leading. I'd barely drunk half my pint before she'd finished her drink. Three measures of Gordons gin and not a wobble.
“Another?”
“Yes please” she winked.
What's a bloke to do, three more measures of gin to make sure and the deal would be sealed I was sure. Just ten minutes later her hand was inside my zip pulling at my sodden underpants which didn't seem to faze her at all. I'm no prude but she was trying to pull it off I'm sure.
In the darkness that once was light, I'd moved that table lamp, Sally freed my cock from it's normal resting place and had my hard and sizeable erection in her warm fingers, pulling and tugging at it from the root to the knob. I'm no slouch in the cock department, I can boast a decent two handfuls and thick with it, but what happened next nearly freaked me out.
Sally flicked her hair to one side, licked her lips and swallowed my whole cock right to the balls. I couldn't help but gasp and looking around I hoped that no-one had heard me.
Sally was sucking at my cock like a Dyson, her lips wrapped tight around my shaft slurping up and down and all the way down each time. It didn't take long until I felt my come spurting out. It must have crashed against the back of her throat because as soon as I started she forced her head right down as hard as she could. This beautifully bosomed goddess had just given me the best blow-job I'd ever had and as her head lifted up from my lap I could see she was licking those cherry red lips with her tongue.
“Get me another drink will you babe and then you can take me home to yours.”
A sloppy dick is not an easy thing to get back into your trousers from a seated position but once the old fella was safely tucked away I half walked, half stumbled to the bar.
Half an hour later the front door was closed behind us and I lead Sally to my room, pausing for both of us to use the bathroom on the landing. Me first of course, that gave me time to clean up a bit and splash a bit more deodorant about. I stripped off and climbed into the bed throwing off the thin duvet; well who wants to get sweaty under that? A couple of minutes passed and I thought to myself 'this is gonna be fucking amazing. This bird is just fucking unbelievable, Gary just won't fucking believe it when I tell him!' A few more minutes went by and the anticipation was getting to me, my cock was standing to attention, veins throbbing, knob bulging and precum seeping; and there she was in the doorway.
It was like something from the best blue movie you've ever seen. Those nylons were stockings, held up by six thick suspenders on a black long-line suspender belt sort of girdle thing and above that must have been ten pounds of tits supported by a black strapless half-cup bra that held those massive mammaries pointing directly at me. She closed the door behind her and turned the key. The light from the bulb on the landing shone through the old-fashioned frosted glass panels barely illuminating the room and silhouetting Sally's curvaceous frame from behind. Slowly her hands reached in front of her giant boobs and unfastened the clasp in front releasing the most glorious sight I'd ever seen. Self-supporting and firm, her tits were a wonder of nature with quite the biggest erect nipples I had ever laid my eyes on. Walking over to the chair she deposited her clothes and reached inside her bag. Drawing out her hand I saw she was clutching a small flask and a condom. Well, in for a penny....
“I do like to make sure I'm fully relaxed before I let anyone fuck me up the arse!” she whispered. This was gonna be the greatest night of my life, giant tits and a bird who wants anal on a first date, Christmas and birthday all at once. Sally took a long deep swig from the flask and offered it to me. Hell why not, it tasted like a whisky cocktail and pretty smooth too.
4.
I'm telling you, my cock was fucking raging for hours, I must have fucked those tits until they were raw, I sucked those nipples and fucked those boobs so hard my cock was actually in Sally's mouth as well. She sucked me dry more than once and then came the final act, she pushed me down onto the bed, sucked me hard again and rammed my cock up her arse!!
I could make out in the dim light she'd pulled her panties aside and as she rode me for what seemed ages my cock was swallowed up by an arsehole that had a tight grip on my cock, albeit now topped off with a condom, like nothing I've ever experienced.
Sally was bouncing up and down like a thing possessed, a real slut, a whore, the best and dirtiest fuck I've ever known. She was squeezing and pulling at her tits, tugging the nipples and forcing both into her eager and desperate mouth, all the time begging “Fill my arse with your cock, fuck me, fuck my arse, come in my arse, come in me you dirty fucker, come in Sally's arse, come in my fucking arse!!”
What's a guy to do but what he's told?
My cock bucked and twitched and throbbed before loosing off spurts and spurts of semen, filling the condom gripped hard in Sally's arsehole.
She screamed with delight only to stifle her noises by stuffing both huge nipples into her mouth and continued bouncing up and down on my cock.
Jesus, what a ride, what a fuck, what a girl!
Sally raised herself from her kneeling position, grabbed my slowly sinking appendage and without a word whipped off the condom and drank the contents, sucking it out of the sheath like juice from an ice-pole.
Stone me! What a fucking slut she was! But she wasn't finished yet, oh no!
Lifting up her tits she slowly dribbled my come onto them, rubbing over those mounds of pleasure, right over the nipples and into the cleavage and leaning forward wrapped them around my now reawakening penis for a spunky tit-fuck, all the while sucking at my fat knob as it thrust between those slippery pillows. Of course it didn't take long for me to come again and Sally eagerly sucked up every last drop of come I could muster.
The night was drawing on and as Sally was putting on her dress and shoes I boldly asked “So about next week then?”
She turned those cherry red lips towards me and smiled. “You never know who you'll bump into. Maybe next week lover-boy.”
My head was swimming with pleasure, my balls were empty and I was floating.
“I'll see myself out, nite nite” and after blowing me a kiss she was gone, just like that.
What a night, what a bird, what a fuck! Who'd have ever believed it?
Laying there I heard Gary in the bog, noisy bastard, couldn't be quiet if he tried. He must have heard the whole thing and I bet his night wasn't anything like mine.
5.
Morning came and after a shower and a welcome cuppa to my surprise Gary walked in the back door.
“What you been doing out in the garden at this time of the morning?” I looked at him puzzled as Gary wasn't really a gardener at any time. He struggles with which end of the spade to hold.
“Just got home mate. After you pissed off I got off with one of the girls, been at it all night! What a night I've had, I tell you mate...”
“Nah don't talk shit, I heard you come in last night.”
Gary shrugged and looked at me a bit bemused. My expression seemed to have him wondering what I was going on about.
“You came home and went for a piss, I heard you! I'd never mistake that torrent of a waterfall noise you make when you go to the bog, it's unmistakable! Only a ….”
Gary's expression hadn't changed but mine had. No, surely not. Yeah it was dark, but not that dark. It couldn't have been...
And so we sat opposite each other, me incredulous, him with his shoulders, those bloody, bloody shoulders of his. Wanker!
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