My News 12.1.2023
“Good Morning Class”
"Good Morning Ms. Moreau"
“So, I am going to keep with the Sports theme in My lesson Today”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Rod”
“Is it going to be as boring as Yesterday’s lesson ?”
“I am hoping it will put You to sleep”
“So, I will not have to listen to Your usual !@#$ !”
“Our topic Today will be,”
“The Origins and Evolution of Game of Golf”
“Ms. Moreau"
“Yes Dick”
“What do you call a blonde at a golf course?”
“What Do You Call Her ?”
“The 19th Hole”
“Unlike Me calling You an !@#hole”
Class breaks out in laughter
In My Head
“In reality all of Them are !@#$%^&, !@#holes also”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Spurt”
“How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife?”
“How ?”
“He always puts His driver in the wrong bag”
“Cute”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Mr. Wang”
“Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife?”
“Another Blonde Joke, again ?”
“Why ?"
“Because He thought every day He needed to play a round”
“Alright You Clowns”
“My turn, but this close to My reality”
“This is How I play Golf”
“Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf”
“Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs”
“She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them”
“The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman”
“The lady turns to the three of them and says,”
"I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever”
“Just don't try to coach me on my game"
“The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first”
“All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball”
“She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle”
“She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole”
“They get to the 18th and she has a 3 foot putt for par”
“She turns around and says,”
"You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game”
“I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt”
"Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget”
“The guys think,”
“What a deal”
“The k*d walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says,”
"Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole”
“The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup"
“The father walks up and says,”
"Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup"
“The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly,"
"And says,”
"That's a Gimme"
Class Keels over in Laughter
“OK let’s begin”
“The Origins and History of Golf”
“You may know about today’s golf equipment and the top players in the world”
“But how much do you know about the history of golf?”
“This game has been played for hundreds of years by players across the World”
“We will explore the game’s humble beginnings through the present day”
“What started as a niche hobby has grown into an 80+ billion-dollar business”
“The history of golf is truly an amazing story”
“How did we get to 350+ yard drives and 7,500-yard golf courses?”
“How much has golf equipment changed?”
“What would you shoot using gear from the 1800s?”
“You can find all of these answers and more in the history of golf”
“So, Where Was Golf Invented?”
“Let’s start our historical investigation of golf with a location”
“Where was golf first played?”
“While some of the facts are disputed about the beginning of the game”
“It’s widely accepted that the game of golf started in Scotland during the 15th century”
“The early history of golf has many interesting twists and turns”
“At first, the game was played by hitting pebbles over or around sand dunes with bent sticks”
“It quickly became popular and even drew attention from the Scottish government”
“In the 1450s, the game was banned by King James II’s parliament”
“Because young men were playing instead of completing their military training”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Peter”
“It probably was because, They liked getting a Hole in One”
“Might have been"
"Now, the game gained the royal seal of approval shortly after 1500 when King James IV took up golf”
“During the 16th century, golf started to spread across Europe and by the 1700s the game started to resemble what we play today”
“The first, rules of golf were established in 1744 and the first 18-hole golf course was constructed in 1764”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes John”
“No 19th Hole ?”
Class snickers
“Not that You will ever find out”
“Carrying on”
“Where Did The Term, Golf, Come From?”
“You can find several different explanations for the term, Golf”
“But we can promise it has nothing to do with the old joke that all other 4-letter words were taken”
“For the history of golf, we trust the USGA, United States Golf Association”
“So we’ll go with their explanation of the etymology”
“It derives linguistically from the Dutch word, Kolf or Kolve
“Meaning quite simply, club”'
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Willy”
“Aren’t You Dutch ?”
“Willy, You are a brainless Twit”
“OK, In the Scottish dialect of the late 14th or early 15th century, the Dutch term became, Goff, or Gouff”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Mr. Ploughman”
“It sounds like Rod”
“Huh”
“Goof”
In My Head
“Why do I get paid so little, to put up with this, !@#$ !!”
“I will continue”
“Only later in the 16th-century Golf”
“There was a very active trade industry between Dutch ports and ports on the east coast of Scotland during the time that golf was invented”
“It’s quite possible that Dutch sailors played a role in the creation and history of golf”
“Now on to, Early Golf Equipment”
“You can’t talk about the history of golf without considering the changes in equipment”
“The first golfers used sticks to hit stones and pebbles, but quickly players started to build or purchase clubs”
“In the early 1500s, King James IV of Scotland had a set of clubs made and even appointed a person to the title of “Royal Club Maker”
“Due to the lack of a uniform construction model, golf clubs were often very different depending on who built them”
“It wasn’t until the 19th century that the concept of forging irons started to produce higher-quality products”
“Handmade wooden, or woods, were typical during this time and golf professionals were often better known for their club making than their ability to play the game”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Wang”
“Is that Why You like Golf, All of those Woodie’s ?”
“Precisely”
“That aside, for hundreds of years, all golf clubs were made with wooden shafts"
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Rod”
“Wooden Shafts, HaHa”
“And now You see Why I like the game, so much”
“Shafts made from metal weren’t introduced until the early 1900s”
“And weren’t considered legal for competition until 1929”
“It wasn’t until the 1970s that we started to see golf companies invest in new technologies that would change how the game is played”
“It was during this time that the first graphite shaft was created and PING invented cavity-back irons”
“TaylorMade was the first golf manufacturer to produce, woods, made from metal”
“But Callaway scored big with their Big Bertha driver in 1991”
“Ms. Moreau”
"Yes Mr. Pecker”
“Isn’t Big Bertha, also a big boned Hooker ?"
“Well, I've met Her before”
“Worked near where I did the same thing”
“She was so large that She took up one City block”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Spurt”
“How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer?”
“How ?”
“He's the one getting his balls cleaned”
“Thanks for that Spurt”
“Onwards We go”
“The final major evolution for golf clubs was the release of hybrids, in the early 2000s”
“This new type of club replaced longer irons, the 3 iron, 2 iron and 1 iron”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Dick”
“I bet You Were depressed that They got rid of the Woodies”
“Especially the longer ones, Dick”
“So, Golf companies continue to innovate, looking for ways to give golfers more distance and accuracy”
“The USGA, United States Golf Association and the R&A now have guidelines in place to determine if new clubs are legal or ill*gal”
“Finally in the History of Golf, Golf Balls”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Rod”
“Thank God”
“Besides the Rhyme, 2 more weeks Detention for that remark !“
“Starting again”
“Similar to golf clubs, the balls we use to play have changed drastically since players smacked pebbles along the east coast of Scotland”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Mr. Johnson”
“Do You like Playing with the Balls”
“On occasion”
In My Head,
“Jesus, Motherfucking, Christ”
“Why did I pick this Subject ?”
“Plowing on, the first balls were made from wood and it’s hard to imagine how you get this type of ball to fly straight”
"They were made from hardwoods, Beech, Boxroot, etc.”
"And the performance would change drastically with each shot”
“Ms. Moreau”
"Yes Daisy”
“I'm sure They did”
Class Snickers again
“Now, in the early 1600s, players started to gravitate to a feathery golf ball”
“These were built by stuffing leather with boiled goose feathers”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes John”
“What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day?”
“What ?”
“Wash your balls”
“Something I am sure You never do”
"So, They were difficult to make and expensive”
“This type of golf ball wouldn’t last very long and if it got wet, it’d quickly fall apart. Even so, it was the standard type of ball used until the mid-1800s”
“In 1848, Dr. Robert Adams created the Gutty ball”
“The Gutty golf ball was created from the dried sap of the Sapodilla tree”
“It had a rubber-like feel and was easier to make than its predecessor”
"Ms. Moreau"
"Yes Spurt"
"Like a Dildo"
"Most likely the same, as the one You stick up Your !@#"
“OK, It was inexpensive compared to the, feathery, and made the game of golf accessible to the masses”
“The Gutty helped grow the game of golf for 50 years until the invention of the rubber-core golf ball”
“This was the beginning of the modern-day golf ball”
“Over the last 100+ years, golf ball engineers have improved performance with dimples, stronger materials, and more consistent construction methods”
“Most golfers would say the last major golf ball innovation was the release of the Titleist Pro V1 in 2000”
“This created a durable and long golf ball that was soft around the green”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Willy”
“I’m sure You are soft around the Green and a Pro”
“Always”
“Certainly, It continues to be the most popular ball on professional tours around the world”
“And that is the short version of”
“The Origins and Evolution of Game of Golf”
“Ms. Moreau”
“What Mr. Poke”
“What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?”
“I’ll Bite”
“A golf ball can be driven more than 300 yards”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Dick”
“Why is not the size of your putter that counts”
“Why”
“It only matters how many strokes you take”
“Okay Class is about over”
"One More Joke from Me”
“A couple have just gotten married”
“As they are retreating to the bedroom for the first night madness”
“The husband looks deeply into his wife’s eyes”
“Honey, I’ve got something to tell you”
“I haven’t been completely honest”
“I am a golfing addict and every chance I get I’m going to go and have a round”
“OK”
“Said his wife”
“As we are now confessing”
“I haven’t been completely honest with you either”
“I’m a hooker, and not very good at Golf”
“That’s OK”
“Said the husband”
“You’ve just have to learn to keep left arm straight and your head down longer”
BRNNG, BRNNG
“Ok, Class is Dismissed”
“And I will most of You in Detention”
“Hasta la Vista”
“Now disappear, all of You little, !@#$%^&*() !!"
In My Head,
“I could do with some Balls, some long Strokes and a Hole in One”
“Or maybe Two”
"Good Morning Ms. Moreau"
“So, I am going to keep with the Sports theme in My lesson Today”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Rod”
“Is it going to be as boring as Yesterday’s lesson ?”
“I am hoping it will put You to sleep”
“So, I will not have to listen to Your usual !@#$ !”
“Our topic Today will be,”
“The Origins and Evolution of Game of Golf”
“Ms. Moreau"
“Yes Dick”
“What do you call a blonde at a golf course?”
“What Do You Call Her ?”
“The 19th Hole”
“Unlike Me calling You an !@#hole”
Class breaks out in laughter
In My Head
“In reality all of Them are !@#$%^&, !@#holes also”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Spurt”
“How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife?”
“How ?”
“He always puts His driver in the wrong bag”
“Cute”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Mr. Wang”
“Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife?”
“Another Blonde Joke, again ?”
“Why ?"
“Because He thought every day He needed to play a round”
“Alright You Clowns”
“My turn, but this close to My reality”
“This is How I play Golf”
“Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf”
“Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs”
“She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them”
“The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman”
“The lady turns to the three of them and says,”
"I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever”
“Just don't try to coach me on my game"
“The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first”
“All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball”
“She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle”
“She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole”
“They get to the 18th and she has a 3 foot putt for par”
“She turns around and says,”
"You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game”
“I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt”
"Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget”
“The guys think,”
“What a deal”
“The k*d walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says,”
"Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole”
“The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup"
“The father walks up and says,”
"Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup"
“The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly,"
"And says,”
"That's a Gimme"
Class Keels over in Laughter
“OK let’s begin”
“The Origins and History of Golf”
“You may know about today’s golf equipment and the top players in the world”
“But how much do you know about the history of golf?”
“This game has been played for hundreds of years by players across the World”
“We will explore the game’s humble beginnings through the present day”
“What started as a niche hobby has grown into an 80+ billion-dollar business”
“The history of golf is truly an amazing story”
“How did we get to 350+ yard drives and 7,500-yard golf courses?”
“How much has golf equipment changed?”
“What would you shoot using gear from the 1800s?”
“You can find all of these answers and more in the history of golf”
“So, Where Was Golf Invented?”
“Let’s start our historical investigation of golf with a location”
“Where was golf first played?”
“While some of the facts are disputed about the beginning of the game”
“It’s widely accepted that the game of golf started in Scotland during the 15th century”
“The early history of golf has many interesting twists and turns”
“At first, the game was played by hitting pebbles over or around sand dunes with bent sticks”
“It quickly became popular and even drew attention from the Scottish government”
“In the 1450s, the game was banned by King James II’s parliament”
“Because young men were playing instead of completing their military training”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Peter”
“It probably was because, They liked getting a Hole in One”
“Might have been"
"Now, the game gained the royal seal of approval shortly after 1500 when King James IV took up golf”
“During the 16th century, golf started to spread across Europe and by the 1700s the game started to resemble what we play today”
“The first, rules of golf were established in 1744 and the first 18-hole golf course was constructed in 1764”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes John”
“No 19th Hole ?”
Class snickers
“Not that You will ever find out”
“Carrying on”
“Where Did The Term, Golf, Come From?”
“You can find several different explanations for the term, Golf”
“But we can promise it has nothing to do with the old joke that all other 4-letter words were taken”
“For the history of golf, we trust the USGA, United States Golf Association”
“So we’ll go with their explanation of the etymology”
“It derives linguistically from the Dutch word, Kolf or Kolve
“Meaning quite simply, club”'
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Willy”
“Aren’t You Dutch ?”
“Willy, You are a brainless Twit”
“OK, In the Scottish dialect of the late 14th or early 15th century, the Dutch term became, Goff, or Gouff”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Mr. Ploughman”
“It sounds like Rod”
“Huh”
“Goof”
In My Head
“Why do I get paid so little, to put up with this, !@#$ !!”
“I will continue”
“Only later in the 16th-century Golf”
“There was a very active trade industry between Dutch ports and ports on the east coast of Scotland during the time that golf was invented”
“It’s quite possible that Dutch sailors played a role in the creation and history of golf”
“Now on to, Early Golf Equipment”
“You can’t talk about the history of golf without considering the changes in equipment”
“The first golfers used sticks to hit stones and pebbles, but quickly players started to build or purchase clubs”
“In the early 1500s, King James IV of Scotland had a set of clubs made and even appointed a person to the title of “Royal Club Maker”
“Due to the lack of a uniform construction model, golf clubs were often very different depending on who built them”
“It wasn’t until the 19th century that the concept of forging irons started to produce higher-quality products”
“Handmade wooden, or woods, were typical during this time and golf professionals were often better known for their club making than their ability to play the game”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Wang”
“Is that Why You like Golf, All of those Woodie’s ?”
“Precisely”
“That aside, for hundreds of years, all golf clubs were made with wooden shafts"
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Rod”
“Wooden Shafts, HaHa”
“And now You see Why I like the game, so much”
“Shafts made from metal weren’t introduced until the early 1900s”
“And weren’t considered legal for competition until 1929”
“It wasn’t until the 1970s that we started to see golf companies invest in new technologies that would change how the game is played”
“It was during this time that the first graphite shaft was created and PING invented cavity-back irons”
“TaylorMade was the first golf manufacturer to produce, woods, made from metal”
“But Callaway scored big with their Big Bertha driver in 1991”
“Ms. Moreau”
"Yes Mr. Pecker”
“Isn’t Big Bertha, also a big boned Hooker ?"
“Well, I've met Her before”
“Worked near where I did the same thing”
“She was so large that She took up one City block”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Spurt”
“How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer?”
“How ?”
“He's the one getting his balls cleaned”
“Thanks for that Spurt”
“Onwards We go”
“The final major evolution for golf clubs was the release of hybrids, in the early 2000s”
“This new type of club replaced longer irons, the 3 iron, 2 iron and 1 iron”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Dick”
“I bet You Were depressed that They got rid of the Woodies”
“Especially the longer ones, Dick”
“So, Golf companies continue to innovate, looking for ways to give golfers more distance and accuracy”
“The USGA, United States Golf Association and the R&A now have guidelines in place to determine if new clubs are legal or ill*gal”
“Finally in the History of Golf, Golf Balls”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Rod”
“Thank God”
“Besides the Rhyme, 2 more weeks Detention for that remark !“
“Starting again”
“Similar to golf clubs, the balls we use to play have changed drastically since players smacked pebbles along the east coast of Scotland”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Mr. Johnson”
“Do You like Playing with the Balls”
“On occasion”
In My Head,
“Jesus, Motherfucking, Christ”
“Why did I pick this Subject ?”
“Plowing on, the first balls were made from wood and it’s hard to imagine how you get this type of ball to fly straight”
"They were made from hardwoods, Beech, Boxroot, etc.”
"And the performance would change drastically with each shot”
“Ms. Moreau”
"Yes Daisy”
“I'm sure They did”
Class Snickers again
“Now, in the early 1600s, players started to gravitate to a feathery golf ball”
“These were built by stuffing leather with boiled goose feathers”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes John”
“What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day?”
“What ?”
“Wash your balls”
“Something I am sure You never do”
"So, They were difficult to make and expensive”
“This type of golf ball wouldn’t last very long and if it got wet, it’d quickly fall apart. Even so, it was the standard type of ball used until the mid-1800s”
“In 1848, Dr. Robert Adams created the Gutty ball”
“The Gutty golf ball was created from the dried sap of the Sapodilla tree”
“It had a rubber-like feel and was easier to make than its predecessor”
"Ms. Moreau"
"Yes Spurt"
"Like a Dildo"
"Most likely the same, as the one You stick up Your !@#"
“OK, It was inexpensive compared to the, feathery, and made the game of golf accessible to the masses”
“The Gutty helped grow the game of golf for 50 years until the invention of the rubber-core golf ball”
“This was the beginning of the modern-day golf ball”
“Over the last 100+ years, golf ball engineers have improved performance with dimples, stronger materials, and more consistent construction methods”
“Most golfers would say the last major golf ball innovation was the release of the Titleist Pro V1 in 2000”
“This created a durable and long golf ball that was soft around the green”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Willy”
“I’m sure You are soft around the Green and a Pro”
“Always”
“Certainly, It continues to be the most popular ball on professional tours around the world”
“And that is the short version of”
“The Origins and Evolution of Game of Golf”
“Ms. Moreau”
“What Mr. Poke”
“What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?”
“I’ll Bite”
“A golf ball can be driven more than 300 yards”
“Ms. Moreau”
“Yes Dick”
“Why is not the size of your putter that counts”
“Why”
“It only matters how many strokes you take”
“Okay Class is about over”
"One More Joke from Me”
“A couple have just gotten married”
“As they are retreating to the bedroom for the first night madness”
“The husband looks deeply into his wife’s eyes”
“Honey, I’ve got something to tell you”
“I haven’t been completely honest”
“I am a golfing addict and every chance I get I’m going to go and have a round”
“OK”
“Said his wife”
“As we are now confessing”
“I haven’t been completely honest with you either”
“I’m a hooker, and not very good at Golf”
“That’s OK”
“Said the husband”
“You’ve just have to learn to keep left arm straight and your head down longer”
BRNNG, BRNNG
“Ok, Class is Dismissed”
“And I will most of You in Detention”
“Hasta la Vista”
“Now disappear, all of You little, !@#$%^&*() !!"
In My Head,
“I could do with some Balls, some long Strokes and a Hole in One”
“Or maybe Two”
5 months ago
