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Graciously Handling Hatred on XHam

Graciously Handling Hatred on XHam

You know, I used to work in a group home and one of the things the k**s loved to do was provoke each other with nasty comments...the reaction out of the k** getting provoked seem to inspire some sick pleasure in the k** doing the provoking.

When I see people leave rude comments on here, I have to laugh- of all places, on a porn site where thousands of people are enjoying each other, to throw out negativity and hatred shows a SERIOUS lack of love, acceptance, self-esteem, and worthwhile endeavors on the part of the commenter. I mean really, this is not facebook- this is a place of openness and even, in a weird way, intimacy.

But then I see people FREAK OUT and spend more time defending themselves or trying to retaliate than the original asshole spent provoking. The entire point of these people saying mean things is to get a rise out of you. They sit there and laugh at every comment you make back to them, at all the people commenting on your behalf, and at the amount of time and energy you just put into THEIR enjoyment.

Guess what I do with negative comments?

DELETE THEM.

And guess what- I have not had a negative comment on one of my videos in over a year, as opposed to the several I had when I first posted.

People that are not enhancing your life, even if its just your xham life, are not worth the energy it takes to try to get back at them. Divert that energy into making more porn, into chatting with people who are positive influences, or even into jerking off- it will be much better for your health then getting mad!

Not to mention, if the opinion of someone you don't know and is obviously an asshole means that much to you, you might want to re-evaluate how well-rooted your positive self-image is, and how much you let external forces define how you see yourself. (A little free therapy for everyone!)
Published by krystal_geysers
10 years ago
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25
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Yes! Let's ride the good vibes.
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Very well said. It's easy to see how trolls thrive in the environment of social media, but on a site like this? Do you really need to search out content you don't like, and then spout your hatred of it? Pretty pathetic.
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Thats Great ..
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TMandrake
BRAVO!
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Good stuff!
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rodent1
Well said.
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funforallparties
Great advice. It's easy to get sucked into negativity but it's a huge waste of life & vitality of which we only have so many. To respond to abuse is really self-abuse. We live in such an abundant world with so many people who can enrich us. I always appreciate constructive criticism, but abuse? No thanks! Keep up the good work & check your PM's. :smile:
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edintx99
Trolls are bullies. Bullies thrive on attention. When starved they die. :^)
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someyahoo
Delete, ignore or be apathetic. I had someone call me the gay f word in a chat room once and I said yeah and? It blew the guy's mind that I wasn't upset. I told him that is a complement around here. Shortly after that he left the room. It's amazing what happens when you don't give them what they want.
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Bertie54
Good positive reaction - don't understand the haters - why would you be unpleasant to someone who has the generosity to show themselves for others pleasure?
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I have only had a few.. I ignore them for the reason you mentioned.. not even sure how I got in their sights..lol.. most likely fishing or did not like some one I made friends with.. life is to short and I am as you said "here for the porn".. and some comments and to thank the posters for keeping me so happy...
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HotFinix
Fantastic post. Couldnt agree more!~
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fisty
Right on!
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OC420guy
You sound like you might BFE friends with Bill... :smile:
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krystal_geysers
to OC420guy : I know, he is like my happy little zen island of sexiness!
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OC420guy
You're getting into some cosmic Zen shit man... Most serene and content dude in the room right here folks. Kudos my friend.
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OC420guy
to kingding11111111 : Good to see another enforcer piping up. :smile:
I'm all about the love on this site guys. If this site was better moderated for the assholes, perhaps I could focus all of my time on pleasantries. IMO, the if a hater is going to be addressed, that's my/ our job. It should be all fun all the time for the ladies on here.
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kingding11111111
I think i might be one of those sick people who enjoy it...mostly ill see some asshole being rude to a girl amd her getting rather offened so ill spend the next week or so trolling the orgional troll... the way i look at it is if i can keep the asshole focused on me he will leave others alone and the irish in me rather likes a good argumemt
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AGREED!
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OC420guy
* not your job...
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OC420guy
I agree with the majority of this
Some people are just going to talk shit no matter what. Some people also just need to told exactly where to go and how quickly. Phoenix certainly doesn't need me to defend her, but she's happy when I do. That's part of my role. You, Krystal, can always take the higher road. Its your job to fend of the dogs, its the alpha male's. Just keep doing your thing darlin. Your back is watched. :wink:
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Gointogether
Why can't we all just "fuck" and get along!
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Very well said sweetie, kudos to you, I couldn't agree more!!! :wink:
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hotrocker
Good post, I am sure people would learn something.
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Very well said! No time for the nonsense and assholes. Delete and block!
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