Graciously Handling Hatred on XHam
You know, I used to work in a group home and one of the things the k**s loved to do was provoke each other with nasty comments...the reaction out of the k** getting provoked seem to inspire some sick pleasure in the k** doing the provoking.
When I see people leave rude comments on here, I have to laugh- of all places, on a porn site where thousands of people are enjoying each other, to throw out negativity and hatred shows a SERIOUS lack of love, acceptance, self-esteem, and worthwhile endeavors on the part of the commenter. I mean really, this is not facebook- this is a place of openness and even, in a weird way, intimacy.
But then I see people FREAK OUT and spend more time defending themselves or trying to retaliate than the original asshole spent provoking. The entire point of these people saying mean things is to get a rise out of you. They sit there and laugh at every comment you make back to them, at all the people commenting on your behalf, and at the amount of time and energy you just put into THEIR enjoyment.
Guess what I do with negative comments?
DELETE THEM.
And guess what- I have not had a negative comment on one of my videos in over a year, as opposed to the several I had when I first posted.
People that are not enhancing your life, even if its just your xham life, are not worth the energy it takes to try to get back at them. Divert that energy into making more porn, into chatting with people who are positive influences, or even into jerking off- it will be much better for your health then getting mad!
Not to mention, if the opinion of someone you don't know and is obviously an asshole means that much to you, you might want to re-evaluate how well-rooted your positive self-image is, and how much you let external forces define how you see yourself. (A little free therapy for everyone!)
When I see people leave rude comments on here, I have to laugh- of all places, on a porn site where thousands of people are enjoying each other, to throw out negativity and hatred shows a SERIOUS lack of love, acceptance, self-esteem, and worthwhile endeavors on the part of the commenter. I mean really, this is not facebook- this is a place of openness and even, in a weird way, intimacy.
But then I see people FREAK OUT and spend more time defending themselves or trying to retaliate than the original asshole spent provoking. The entire point of these people saying mean things is to get a rise out of you. They sit there and laugh at every comment you make back to them, at all the people commenting on your behalf, and at the amount of time and energy you just put into THEIR enjoyment.
Guess what I do with negative comments?
DELETE THEM.
And guess what- I have not had a negative comment on one of my videos in over a year, as opposed to the several I had when I first posted.
People that are not enhancing your life, even if its just your xham life, are not worth the energy it takes to try to get back at them. Divert that energy into making more porn, into chatting with people who are positive influences, or even into jerking off- it will be much better for your health then getting mad!
Not to mention, if the opinion of someone you don't know and is obviously an asshole means that much to you, you might want to re-evaluate how well-rooted your positive self-image is, and how much you let external forces define how you see yourself. (A little free therapy for everyone!)
10 years ago
I'm all about the love on this site guys. If this site was better moderated for the assholes, perhaps I could focus all of my time on pleasantries. IMO, the if a hater is going to be addressed, that's my/ our job. It should be all fun all the time for the ladies on here.
Some people are just going to talk shit no matter what. Some people also just need to told exactly where to go and how quickly. Phoenix certainly doesn't need me to defend her, but she's happy when I do. That's part of my role. You, Krystal, can always take the higher road. Its your job to fend of the dogs, its the alpha male's. Just keep doing your thing darlin. Your back is watched.