Sexual enhancement for over 50's - Part 4
IV. Sexual Enhancement – the Importance of Verbal Expression
Communication, verbally, while having sex can be a significant enhancement to sexual pleasure. Not that you’re going to communicate the “news of the day” or confess your “undying affection” to your partner. No, sexual intercourse is not an appropriate time to “whisper sweet nothings” in your partner’s ear.
Much of the kick of having male to male sex is the vicarious pleasure you experience as the other man experiences sexual pleasure. Knowing where he is and what he’s experiencing can produce a lot of pleasure for you. Doing sex well needs reinforcement, guidance and direction. Expressions of appreciation adds a lot to the experience as well. Unfortunately, much of our early sexual experience is solo, surreptitious with the bedroom door locked and trying to suppress any sounds – verbal, the bed springs, things rattling…. while we flog the bishop, choke the chicken… whatever. And when it got more sophisticated (with the boy next door) we probably limited expression to a perfunctory “I’m cumming” so we wouldn’t surprise the friend when cum shot out of our cock.
Most guys (in porn and in life) are "quiet fucks". Meaning that they can be experiencing life's greatest physical pleasure and have nothing to say… they are so self absorbed in their own pleasure. There is a certain inhibition about expressing pleasure. Perhaps its part of the fear of being vulnerable… which is such a big deal for many men. But losing control, acknowledging that one’s sexuality is being given up, can intensify sexual response and is very rewarding for the partner you are with.
Giving pleasure is enormously enhanced when your partner is verbal . . . yeah "Grunts, Groans and Moans" is part of it - but that's usually at the end when you lose the ability to construct thoughts, and the fact that you're about to blast a load of cum and sex is … well … the greatest thing your mind can imagine. “Cum baby cum !”
Usually what guys say is "Fuk Yeah! fuk Yeah !" or extended or repeated "Ajh....Ah's". Its also quite noticeable that "guys takin it" (in the ass) are much more verbal than guys on top. [Needless to say, guys sucking can't do much in the verbal department .... hum a little bit perhaps, but that's it. Maybe a brief word when you’re taking a breath.
About the only other thing most guys say is … “You want that cock, huh… huh?” or “Take it baby, take that big cock!” or “Oh, fuck me hard. Fuck me hard !”. Or maybe a simple “Take my load !”
For a lot of bottoms the only feedback they get is a stiffening cock and a grunt as their guy goes over the top or tosses his load. That’s pretty disappointing. Climax comes almost as a surprise. No wonder some guys ask, “Did you come?” That’s a sure sign that “verbal” hasn’t been happening. Sometimes the only sign a guy is about to toss his load is a faster thrusting (when fucking)… or cock stiffens, legs spread apart or a few involuntary pelvic thrusts or a guys balls retract as he’s being sucked or jerked off.
If you are looking for a more sustained and higher level of sexual pleasure
There are four categories of verbal expression that apply in enhanced male to male sex
1. Directive
2. Appreciative - Lauditory
3. Fantasy Related
4. Anticipatory (of sexual orgasm)
So here are some thoughts about what you can say . . .
What is really a turn on (to the bottom) are some indications of "what's particularly good", "where you ARE on the road to supreme pleasure" and "reporting in on fantasies".
You can start by simply describing your sexual response or feelings. "Oh, my balls feel so good" "My cock is getting so stiff", "Oh your warm mouth (or ass) feels so smooth on my cock.”
You can offer reinforcement for a move that increased your sexual pleasure. "Oh yes, do that again with your tongue." Or "instructive" ... "Hold my balls in your hand. Pull down on them, yes, yes! that's right. Do some more of that. Pull down with a milking action...". "Lick the underside of my shaft up by the head". "Do you taste my pre-cum?". "Yeah man, that's for you, for the great pleasure you're giving me. “Tongue my slit”. “Shove your cock in deeper…. That’s good! Hold it in as deep as you can.”
“Squeeze on my cock with your ass muscles”. “I’m gonna fill your man cunt with my white hot cum”. “I love the feel of your urgent thrusting. You need to cum buddy?…. Need to plant that seed in my ass? I love the feel of your balls slapping against my ass.” “I’m cumming, I’m cumming, spread your legs wide and take it all!”
“Oh I like milking that cock of yours”… “You wanna give me all your seed?” “Empty those balls?” “Relieve some of that sexual stress you’ve been carryin?”
Keep in mind that the bottom has usually has no idea where you are. Sure he may enjoy the feeling of sucking your cock or really like the feeling of your cock thrusting in his ass. But a lot of the time he doesn’t know where you are, whether you’re moving along towards orgasm… whether he’s going too slow or too fast. Whether you like to be edged. Bringing a guy too fast to orgasm can be more disappointing than “making no progress.”
There are various ways of “reporting” where you are. One way is the 1 to 10 method. Rather than saying “I’m close” just short of shooting your load…. You start with one. One is simply warm sex, feeling your balls being fondled, initial strokes, you’re on your way getting a hard-on. Usually you don’t report anything below a three. At three, you are definitely on your way to orgasm, you know you’ll go the full journey, cock is feeling really good, you’re comfortable in having sex with this guy. Four and five are increasing sexual tension (and pleasure), you are getting more serious about things. You still have complete control and can back off with ease. If you can stay at this level, you can continue being sexually stimulated for a long period of time. At six, orgasm is a definite need on the horizon and you want to get your rocks off relatively soon. You’re not on the slippery slope to squirting, but is definitely on the agenda. By seven you are about to lose control, sex is becoming urgent. You could stop now but it would be a “close call” and there would likely be some cock throbbing as your urethra does some preliminary pulsing. Definitely its pre-cum time. Eight, nine and ten follow each other in quick succession. The definition of 8 is that you have “passed the point of no return.” You are definitely going to cum, you can’t stop and now all that further stimulation can do is to either have a simple ejaculation or a “fantastic” cum where you really empty your balls. For young guys, this has happened when you shoot cum in your face and not on your belly. For older guys, you either get your load airborne for a belly landing or a mount Vesuvius throb and ooze.
Another way of more generalized reporting is based on anatomy: “Balls feel good”(1-3), “cock feels good (4-5), “cock / cockhead is hardening up” (6-7), “my asshole is twitching/throbbing”(8-10). These all correspond to typical physical things that are happening. Variations on these descriptions are fine, but they serve to say a lot more and provide more specific feedback than simply an “I’m cumming” at the end. And there is no reason why the stimulating guy can’t respond with a brief question about how to make it better. “You want to go faster?” “You want me to stop and take a breather?” (Defintely NOT for a 7 and above.
Communication, verbally, while having sex can be a significant enhancement to sexual pleasure. Not that you’re going to communicate the “news of the day” or confess your “undying affection” to your partner. No, sexual intercourse is not an appropriate time to “whisper sweet nothings” in your partner’s ear.
Much of the kick of having male to male sex is the vicarious pleasure you experience as the other man experiences sexual pleasure. Knowing where he is and what he’s experiencing can produce a lot of pleasure for you. Doing sex well needs reinforcement, guidance and direction. Expressions of appreciation adds a lot to the experience as well. Unfortunately, much of our early sexual experience is solo, surreptitious with the bedroom door locked and trying to suppress any sounds – verbal, the bed springs, things rattling…. while we flog the bishop, choke the chicken… whatever. And when it got more sophisticated (with the boy next door) we probably limited expression to a perfunctory “I’m cumming” so we wouldn’t surprise the friend when cum shot out of our cock.
Most guys (in porn and in life) are "quiet fucks". Meaning that they can be experiencing life's greatest physical pleasure and have nothing to say… they are so self absorbed in their own pleasure. There is a certain inhibition about expressing pleasure. Perhaps its part of the fear of being vulnerable… which is such a big deal for many men. But losing control, acknowledging that one’s sexuality is being given up, can intensify sexual response and is very rewarding for the partner you are with.
Giving pleasure is enormously enhanced when your partner is verbal . . . yeah "Grunts, Groans and Moans" is part of it - but that's usually at the end when you lose the ability to construct thoughts, and the fact that you're about to blast a load of cum and sex is … well … the greatest thing your mind can imagine. “Cum baby cum !”
Usually what guys say is "Fuk Yeah! fuk Yeah !" or extended or repeated "Ajh....Ah's". Its also quite noticeable that "guys takin it" (in the ass) are much more verbal than guys on top. [Needless to say, guys sucking can't do much in the verbal department .... hum a little bit perhaps, but that's it. Maybe a brief word when you’re taking a breath.
About the only other thing most guys say is … “You want that cock, huh… huh?” or “Take it baby, take that big cock!” or “Oh, fuck me hard. Fuck me hard !”. Or maybe a simple “Take my load !”
For a lot of bottoms the only feedback they get is a stiffening cock and a grunt as their guy goes over the top or tosses his load. That’s pretty disappointing. Climax comes almost as a surprise. No wonder some guys ask, “Did you come?” That’s a sure sign that “verbal” hasn’t been happening. Sometimes the only sign a guy is about to toss his load is a faster thrusting (when fucking)… or cock stiffens, legs spread apart or a few involuntary pelvic thrusts or a guys balls retract as he’s being sucked or jerked off.
If you are looking for a more sustained and higher level of sexual pleasure
There are four categories of verbal expression that apply in enhanced male to male sex
1. Directive
2. Appreciative - Lauditory
3. Fantasy Related
4. Anticipatory (of sexual orgasm)
So here are some thoughts about what you can say . . .
What is really a turn on (to the bottom) are some indications of "what's particularly good", "where you ARE on the road to supreme pleasure" and "reporting in on fantasies".
You can start by simply describing your sexual response or feelings. "Oh, my balls feel so good" "My cock is getting so stiff", "Oh your warm mouth (or ass) feels so smooth on my cock.”
You can offer reinforcement for a move that increased your sexual pleasure. "Oh yes, do that again with your tongue." Or "instructive" ... "Hold my balls in your hand. Pull down on them, yes, yes! that's right. Do some more of that. Pull down with a milking action...". "Lick the underside of my shaft up by the head". "Do you taste my pre-cum?". "Yeah man, that's for you, for the great pleasure you're giving me. “Tongue my slit”. “Shove your cock in deeper…. That’s good! Hold it in as deep as you can.”
“Squeeze on my cock with your ass muscles”. “I’m gonna fill your man cunt with my white hot cum”. “I love the feel of your urgent thrusting. You need to cum buddy?…. Need to plant that seed in my ass? I love the feel of your balls slapping against my ass.” “I’m cumming, I’m cumming, spread your legs wide and take it all!”
“Oh I like milking that cock of yours”… “You wanna give me all your seed?” “Empty those balls?” “Relieve some of that sexual stress you’ve been carryin?”
Keep in mind that the bottom has usually has no idea where you are. Sure he may enjoy the feeling of sucking your cock or really like the feeling of your cock thrusting in his ass. But a lot of the time he doesn’t know where you are, whether you’re moving along towards orgasm… whether he’s going too slow or too fast. Whether you like to be edged. Bringing a guy too fast to orgasm can be more disappointing than “making no progress.”
There are various ways of “reporting” where you are. One way is the 1 to 10 method. Rather than saying “I’m close” just short of shooting your load…. You start with one. One is simply warm sex, feeling your balls being fondled, initial strokes, you’re on your way getting a hard-on. Usually you don’t report anything below a three. At three, you are definitely on your way to orgasm, you know you’ll go the full journey, cock is feeling really good, you’re comfortable in having sex with this guy. Four and five are increasing sexual tension (and pleasure), you are getting more serious about things. You still have complete control and can back off with ease. If you can stay at this level, you can continue being sexually stimulated for a long period of time. At six, orgasm is a definite need on the horizon and you want to get your rocks off relatively soon. You’re not on the slippery slope to squirting, but is definitely on the agenda. By seven you are about to lose control, sex is becoming urgent. You could stop now but it would be a “close call” and there would likely be some cock throbbing as your urethra does some preliminary pulsing. Definitely its pre-cum time. Eight, nine and ten follow each other in quick succession. The definition of 8 is that you have “passed the point of no return.” You are definitely going to cum, you can’t stop and now all that further stimulation can do is to either have a simple ejaculation or a “fantastic” cum where you really empty your balls. For young guys, this has happened when you shoot cum in your face and not on your belly. For older guys, you either get your load airborne for a belly landing or a mount Vesuvius throb and ooze.
Another way of more generalized reporting is based on anatomy: “Balls feel good”(1-3), “cock feels good (4-5), “cock / cockhead is hardening up” (6-7), “my asshole is twitching/throbbing”(8-10). These all correspond to typical physical things that are happening. Variations on these descriptions are fine, but they serve to say a lot more and provide more specific feedback than simply an “I’m cumming” at the end. And there is no reason why the stimulating guy can’t respond with a brief question about how to make it better. “You want to go faster?” “You want me to stop and take a breather?” (Defintely NOT for a 7 and above.
7 years ago