My Experience: Slave #1
Many times over the years, I have chatted with people (typically submissive women) who ask me for advice of the D/s lifestyle. I repeatedly end up writing the same life story over and over and over and probably should have just created this post years ago, but never got around to it.
However, I was recently inspired to write this because of a new friend and I hope that this will be instructional as much as it is informative for people. I am always willing to share my knowledge with people, so fee free to ask me anything and if I don't know the answer I will make something up that sounds reasonable and you won't know the difference either way (JUST K1DDING!!)
Slave #1, My wife
I married my college sweetheart shortly after graduation in 1991. We both moved to South Carolina to work in the local school system as teachers. Neither of us had any plans to live a D/s lifestyle and really didn't know much about it at all. It was actually my wife who was the driving force for me becoming the Dom I am today.
My wife was a voracious reader and had the ability to read books at about 6x the speed of most people. She read about 5-6 books a week in addition to all her school preparation. Each weekend we descended on the local library and she would come home with a stack of new books to read. One day, she ended up getting some fantasy romance novel that had a heavy D/s theme to it.
This sparked something in my wife that changed our world forever. She started hunting down more books by this author and books similar to it to dive deeper into this new fantasy she had. She had always been submissive to me and I generally ran the household with her support. Our sex life was typical of newlyweds and she never stopped me from trying new things in the bedroom in order to satisfy myself - however, my ideas were very vanilla.
She started to share some of the scenarios she was reading about in these books and suggested we try some - sometimes she wanted to be spanked, or verbally abused during sex, or hands tied to each other during sex or to the bedposts, etc...
Things like that. But then it became more serious and complex.
It wasn't easy to keep up with her growing need for submission and imagination! I actually learned how to use a whip from a book written by and Amish farmer in a chapter about plowing fields with cattle and using a buggy whip when using a horse drawn carriage. Keep in mind that this was pre-internet and their just wasn't much information about BDSM available in rural SC!! Most of our information was found in a few books in the local library. (For you Millennials reading this - a library is like a physical version of Google, but trees are involved.)
By the time our first anniversary arrived, my wife was my committed 24/7 slave. When we got home from teaching each day, she had exactly 15 seconds from the time she entered the doorway to our home to strip off her clothes and get on her knees to await instructions. I would usually put leather cuffs on her ankles and wrist and a leather collar around her neck because the D-rings on them made it easy to secure her quickly should I feel the need to use or abuse her body.
We did a LOT of experimenting to see what we liked and disliked and how much my wife's body could withstand. We learned the value of Safe Words for "slow down" as well as "Stop" and we developed a list of Soft Limits and Hard Limits. Interestingly enough, I had more limits than my wife did. We had a list of Punishments that she would be subjected to if any Rules were broken. She had a list of chores and responsibilities to complete as well as a list of skills I wanted her to learn in order to be a more useful sextoy that I could satisfy my desires with (i.e. - lose her gag reflex, be able to take large dildos up her ass). I was very cautious about everything because I knew we were both enjoying having her body under my control, but I never wanted to have a situation where she was permanently injured or damaged because I didn't do something safe.
With no experienced guide to help us, or BDSM network to tap into, we did a lot of learning on our own and I am sure there were times when I hurt her more than I thought I did unintentionally. By 1994, my wife and I were completely given in to our roles as Master and Slave. In the beginning, I would only whip her body with a buggy whip if she needed to be punished. Now, I would routinely hang her upside down by her ankles with her hands and feet spread wide like a giant "X" and give her a full body whipping just for the pure entertainment of listening to her whimper, cry, scream and beg for mercy! My skills in using rope to restrain her was more effective and I could put her in positions that left her complete exposed, helplessly immobile and in a difficult enough position that she was suffering from it long before I even started applying whatever tortures and torments my sadistic mind planned to inflict upon her!
Our favorite games usually involved some kind of prolonged orgasm denial followed by repeated force orgasms that would leave us both exhausted. Testing her limits with a new kind of stimulation was usually done in the form of some kind of interrogation game where I had to force information out of her, but the "info" was really Safe Words used to let me know how she was handling this new situation and whether or not I should continue.
Our lives as Master and Slave were amazing. I loved her more than I ever thought I could. She was my soul mate - my world - my everything!!!
And then she got sick...
It was the beginning of 1995. We thought she would get better, after all - she was young and strong.... but she didn't.
I buried her before the end of the year. My world died with her.
I am not going to sugar coat this, my friends - I was in a BAD place. I mean a REALLY DARK place that I almost didn't get out of. The grief was a physical weight that I couldn't shake.
Just breathing was difficult.
For over a year, I continued on, but I wasn't really living - more like just existing. Barely surviving. I ate little and slept even less.
I am sure that I would have eventually died a coward's death if it had not been for ONE amazing person. She was my wife's best friend in college and the Maid of Honor at our wedding. Her name was Lynn. Not only was she smart, amazing, gorgeous and there when I needed her most - she was also.....
Slave #2!!
And I will tell you more about her in my next post.
However, I was recently inspired to write this because of a new friend and I hope that this will be instructional as much as it is informative for people. I am always willing to share my knowledge with people, so fee free to ask me anything and if I don't know the answer I will make something up that sounds reasonable and you won't know the difference either way (JUST K1DDING!!)
Slave #1, My wife
I married my college sweetheart shortly after graduation in 1991. We both moved to South Carolina to work in the local school system as teachers. Neither of us had any plans to live a D/s lifestyle and really didn't know much about it at all. It was actually my wife who was the driving force for me becoming the Dom I am today.
My wife was a voracious reader and had the ability to read books at about 6x the speed of most people. She read about 5-6 books a week in addition to all her school preparation. Each weekend we descended on the local library and she would come home with a stack of new books to read. One day, she ended up getting some fantasy romance novel that had a heavy D/s theme to it.
This sparked something in my wife that changed our world forever. She started hunting down more books by this author and books similar to it to dive deeper into this new fantasy she had. She had always been submissive to me and I generally ran the household with her support. Our sex life was typical of newlyweds and she never stopped me from trying new things in the bedroom in order to satisfy myself - however, my ideas were very vanilla.
She started to share some of the scenarios she was reading about in these books and suggested we try some - sometimes she wanted to be spanked, or verbally abused during sex, or hands tied to each other during sex or to the bedposts, etc...
Things like that. But then it became more serious and complex.
It wasn't easy to keep up with her growing need for submission and imagination! I actually learned how to use a whip from a book written by and Amish farmer in a chapter about plowing fields with cattle and using a buggy whip when using a horse drawn carriage. Keep in mind that this was pre-internet and their just wasn't much information about BDSM available in rural SC!! Most of our information was found in a few books in the local library. (For you Millennials reading this - a library is like a physical version of Google, but trees are involved.)
By the time our first anniversary arrived, my wife was my committed 24/7 slave. When we got home from teaching each day, she had exactly 15 seconds from the time she entered the doorway to our home to strip off her clothes and get on her knees to await instructions. I would usually put leather cuffs on her ankles and wrist and a leather collar around her neck because the D-rings on them made it easy to secure her quickly should I feel the need to use or abuse her body.
We did a LOT of experimenting to see what we liked and disliked and how much my wife's body could withstand. We learned the value of Safe Words for "slow down" as well as "Stop" and we developed a list of Soft Limits and Hard Limits. Interestingly enough, I had more limits than my wife did. We had a list of Punishments that she would be subjected to if any Rules were broken. She had a list of chores and responsibilities to complete as well as a list of skills I wanted her to learn in order to be a more useful sextoy that I could satisfy my desires with (i.e. - lose her gag reflex, be able to take large dildos up her ass). I was very cautious about everything because I knew we were both enjoying having her body under my control, but I never wanted to have a situation where she was permanently injured or damaged because I didn't do something safe.
With no experienced guide to help us, or BDSM network to tap into, we did a lot of learning on our own and I am sure there were times when I hurt her more than I thought I did unintentionally. By 1994, my wife and I were completely given in to our roles as Master and Slave. In the beginning, I would only whip her body with a buggy whip if she needed to be punished. Now, I would routinely hang her upside down by her ankles with her hands and feet spread wide like a giant "X" and give her a full body whipping just for the pure entertainment of listening to her whimper, cry, scream and beg for mercy! My skills in using rope to restrain her was more effective and I could put her in positions that left her complete exposed, helplessly immobile and in a difficult enough position that she was suffering from it long before I even started applying whatever tortures and torments my sadistic mind planned to inflict upon her!
Our favorite games usually involved some kind of prolonged orgasm denial followed by repeated force orgasms that would leave us both exhausted. Testing her limits with a new kind of stimulation was usually done in the form of some kind of interrogation game where I had to force information out of her, but the "info" was really Safe Words used to let me know how she was handling this new situation and whether or not I should continue.
Our lives as Master and Slave were amazing. I loved her more than I ever thought I could. She was my soul mate - my world - my everything!!!
And then she got sick...
It was the beginning of 1995. We thought she would get better, after all - she was young and strong.... but she didn't.
I buried her before the end of the year. My world died with her.
I am not going to sugar coat this, my friends - I was in a BAD place. I mean a REALLY DARK place that I almost didn't get out of. The grief was a physical weight that I couldn't shake.
Just breathing was difficult.
For over a year, I continued on, but I wasn't really living - more like just existing. Barely surviving. I ate little and slept even less.
I am sure that I would have eventually died a coward's death if it had not been for ONE amazing person. She was my wife's best friend in college and the Maid of Honor at our wedding. Her name was Lynn. Not only was she smart, amazing, gorgeous and there when I needed her most - she was also.....
Slave #2!!
And I will tell you more about her in my next post.
2 years ago