Are You a Gooner? Take the Quiz!
It's goo season again so have you had your checkup? I'm Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N. and my practice is goonocology. Are you aware that 4 out of every three people is at high risk for being a gooner? I bet you aren't. Well I am conducting a simple exam that is covered by most healthcare insurance with no premiums or penalties for nonpayment because, well, I don't get paid for my services. Because you are reading this you are more than likely a gooner which is great because you are at least somewhat open to the truth. Please answer the following questions truthfuly and based on your answers I can diagnose you and recommend proper treatment, if needed.
1. Have you ever found yourself downloading pornographic materials or saving bookmarks on your browser in reguards to your future self ie "this is sick I can't believe people are this perverted i'm totally not into that ......but every now and then comes a time when i'd really get off to this shit"
2.Have you ever been late or absent from previous engagements or activities due to your use of pornographic materials or a 12 inch butt plug?
3.Do you have a separate email account that your friends and family are not aware of that is used to cover up or ehance your time spent being a total pervert?
4.Do you like ass, titties, cum in your mouth or masturbating to content that should never be masturbated to such as P***boy magazine, funerals, or general mills cereals?
*for questions 1-4 a simple yes or no will do, nobody wants to hear your gross stories..
5.On a scale of 9 to 10 how would you rate your dependence on viewing pornographic materials? (9 being that without porn I would have already jumped off a bridge or 10 being that I am blind and can't find the bridge)
6.If you had a choice between having the partner of your choice every night for the rest of your life OR a self sustaining lifestyle in which you had unlimited access to porn and no responsibilities ever.. which popular pizza delivery chain is going to refuse service to you first b/c of your sick masturbation habits?
7.You can't please all the people all the time. These people are A)every lover you ever had B)your family and friends C)Your pets D)Yourself because you are competing for the Guinness record for the longest edging session in the history of mankind
8.Why are you reading this boring boobless blog post? Really?
Now just a few questions about your health (circle the answer that applies to you)
What is your gender? Male
Are you currently sexually active? No
Have you ever had multiple partners? LOL
*Optional Question* How did you find out about Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N? (check all that apply)
family member
public restroom
internet publication
dealer
other___________
*I hereby attest that will not hold the offices of Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N. liable for any swelling, discoloration, frequent discharge or itching of my person. I have voluntarily forfeited all personal property and/or assets to Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N. as my personal beneficiary in the event that I become deceased or fall asleep.
Signature________________________________________ Today's Date__________
***Please note that a machine grades the papers I just administer the test.
Your results:
If you answered any of the questions at all..then you are in fact a Gooner. A dirty self m*****ing Gooner.
There is a cure for this ailment which I am happy to provide (please don't try to shake my hand), however, I would like to remind you Gooner that you are on xhamster and just so much as accidently clicking something on this page has a 99% chance of exposing you to pictures of boobies or butts or any other things that gooners like you enjoy looking at. Yeah I don't think you want the cure do you? Get back out there and goon you gooners!
1. Have you ever found yourself downloading pornographic materials or saving bookmarks on your browser in reguards to your future self ie "this is sick I can't believe people are this perverted i'm totally not into that ......but every now and then comes a time when i'd really get off to this shit"
2.Have you ever been late or absent from previous engagements or activities due to your use of pornographic materials or a 12 inch butt plug?
3.Do you have a separate email account that your friends and family are not aware of that is used to cover up or ehance your time spent being a total pervert?
4.Do you like ass, titties, cum in your mouth or masturbating to content that should never be masturbated to such as P***boy magazine, funerals, or general mills cereals?
*for questions 1-4 a simple yes or no will do, nobody wants to hear your gross stories..
5.On a scale of 9 to 10 how would you rate your dependence on viewing pornographic materials? (9 being that without porn I would have already jumped off a bridge or 10 being that I am blind and can't find the bridge)
6.If you had a choice between having the partner of your choice every night for the rest of your life OR a self sustaining lifestyle in which you had unlimited access to porn and no responsibilities ever.. which popular pizza delivery chain is going to refuse service to you first b/c of your sick masturbation habits?
7.You can't please all the people all the time. These people are A)every lover you ever had B)your family and friends C)Your pets D)Yourself because you are competing for the Guinness record for the longest edging session in the history of mankind
8.Why are you reading this boring boobless blog post? Really?
Now just a few questions about your health (circle the answer that applies to you)
What is your gender? Male
Are you currently sexually active? No
Have you ever had multiple partners? LOL
*Optional Question* How did you find out about Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N? (check all that apply)
family member
public restroom
internet publication
dealer
other___________
*I hereby attest that will not hold the offices of Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N. liable for any swelling, discoloration, frequent discharge or itching of my person. I have voluntarily forfeited all personal property and/or assets to Dr. Cheri O.B.G.O.O.N. as my personal beneficiary in the event that I become deceased or fall asleep.
Signature________________________________________ Today's Date__________
***Please note that a machine grades the papers I just administer the test.
Your results:
If you answered any of the questions at all..then you are in fact a Gooner. A dirty self m*****ing Gooner.
There is a cure for this ailment which I am happy to provide (please don't try to shake my hand), however, I would like to remind you Gooner that you are on xhamster and just so much as accidently clicking something on this page has a 99% chance of exposing you to pictures of boobies or butts or any other things that gooners like you enjoy looking at. Yeah I don't think you want the cure do you? Get back out there and goon you gooners!
6 years ago
